Hello kiddies! Just from reading the title I’m sure that you can gauge my excitement when I saw this in the video store, right? Er, well I lost that enthusiasm as I watched this overwhelmingly boring piece of crap. I should have known not to rent it when I did not see Stephen King or George Romero any where on the label—I have committed a most grievous sin.
As you may remember, Creepshow I (1982-my favorite) was directed by George Romero, and the stories and the screenplay were written by Stephen King. Creepshow II (1987-love this as well) was directed by Michael Gornick and Stephen King provided the stories, while George Romero wrote the screenplay. So when I saw a 3rd installment on the shelf at my local video store, I was soooo giddy!
Creepshow 3 sucked—it just did. It was directed by husband and wife, writing/directing/producing team, Jim Dudelson and Ana Clavell. I read that they also “created” a sequel for “Day of the Dead.” For the love of God, Hollywood needs to stop these people! I won’t give a spoiler alert because the movie will spoil itself. I’ll briefly go over the five horrible vignettes as they appear in order on the film:
“Alice” – The story of a bratty teenager who hates her mad scientist neighbor who created some stupid universal remote that can bend time and space. When her dad presses the button, she ends up with an African-American family. He presses it again, and oh no, her family is now Hispanic. Sounds racist and stupid. (It goes down hill from there if that is possible)
“Rachel, the Call Girl” – The story of a serial killer call girl who gets a call to meet up with another killer who happens to be a vampire. (Ooooh! Woweee!)
“Professor Dayton’s Wife” -The story of the mad scientist from the first story who decides to get married. He is a prankster and two of his students think that he made his bride-to-be, and they dismember her, but she’s a real woman. (**Sigh**)
“The Haunted Dog” -The story of a partying, butthole of a doctor who drops a hotdog on the ground and then gives it to a homeless guy who was hungry. The homeless guy dies from the contaminated hotdog but doesn’t haunt the doctor until the end of the vignette. (WTF??)
“The Radio” -The story of a part-time security guard who allows a radio to tell him to kill a man when the guy discovers he stole money from him. (Blah!)
All of the stories were supposedly tied together somehow—they were, but quite badly. The “directors” apparently have a tendency to use alot of prostitutes, pimps, and homeless people in their stories. Maybe they couldn’t think of anyone else to use? Don’t rent this crap! EVER!!